Really, as a Christian, there are ways we operate in this world, we operate by a different set of rules. Even in the world of Dating and Marriage. But, over the years, in the bid to teach the body of christ how we (christians) operate in dating and marriage, I believe we’ve geared too far, thus getting to the point of extremism.
There are some misconceptions of Dating that’s flying across some teachings/teachers of Dating. These misconceptions needs be corrected so that we have a better and more fulfilled Dating Life.
Debra Fileta shares some of these misconceptions and addresses them.
- 1. Remember that there is no such thing as “Christian dating”, only Christians who date: One of the most confusing things we can do for ourselves is to categorize things by the Christian subtitle. The word Christian is not an adjective used to describe media, or clothing, or music- it’s a group of people. People who are committed to living a life that is infused with God’s love. When it comes to dating, it would do us well to see it as an avenue toward getting to know God’s people as we pursue God’s big picture for our lives. Just like anything else we do in this life, dating is also a way that we can reflect Him to the people we come into contact with. Let’s take the pressure off and see it as just that.
2. Don’t take it too seriously: Now that we’ve put aside the concept of “Christian dating”, we should probably also put aside the notion that dating must equal marriage. Talk about some serious pressure, people!!! If we only go on dates based on our perception that a person has to have the qualities of our life-long partner, very few people would ever actually go on a date. It’s important to have an idea of what you’re looking for in a spouse, but let’s be honest- there’s very little that can be learned about someone outside a significant interaction of some sort. For some, that can be accomplished through the development of a friendship, but it eventually requires the next step in the form of an actual date. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t actually have to know if they’re “the one” before committing to dinner and a movie. Let’s not take this so seriously, amen?
3. Don’t take it too lightly: I know it sounds like I’m about to contradict myself, but bear with me. I hold firm to the fact that you don’t need a commitment toward marriage from date number 1, but I also believe that you should do yourself a favor by not taking dating too lightly, either. You should always hold to a set of personal values and beliefs that you are unwilling to compromise when it comes to getting to know someone. Instead of just treating dates with the randomness of the lottery, always know what you’re looking for, and what you want to avoid. If you know something is a dead end from the start, don’t bother going down that path. Your time and emotional energy is valuable, so decrease your risks by investing into relationships that will build you up and challenge you no matter what the outcome.
4. Be Yourself: No-brainer. But really, it has to be said. There are far too many people out there trying to be someone they are not- or even worse- unaware of who they actually are. In order to be yourself, you have to know yourself. Take the time to really get to the heart of who you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going- and give others the respect they deserve by displaying authenticity in your interactions.
5. Enjoy your Time: How easy is it to get so hung up on this dating stuff that it becomes more stressful than enjoyable? Getting to know people should be a rewarding time of learning about others. It’s a chance to get a glimpse of God in the people that He’s made. There’s something really grand about that! Look for Him at work in your interactions with others, and have a good time.
6. Leave with No Regrets: The easiest way to live a life of little regret is to make good choices. When it comes to dating, it’s important to see it as an opportunity for good choices to be made- rather than just focus on all the potential risks. Making good choices involves setting healthy boundaries and limits in your emotional and physical exchanges with others. Don’t give too much too fast with any area of your life and learn to see trust as something that is earned, not freely given. The best way to enjoy healthy dating is to do it in a way that leaves you with no regrets.
7. Take the Next Step: No matter what comes of your dating experience, it’s always important to do what’s next. That may mean planning another date, or making the deliberate decision not to. Either way, be clear with your intentions and the direction that you’re heading with your dating relationship. Don’t let guilt or fear hold you back either way. You owe commitment to no-one, but you owe proper communication to all.
So, whether or not you decide to call it “Christian Dating” is up to you. But either way, make a deliberate choice to reflect the character of God in all your actions and interactions with the opposite sex. And remember to have a good time!
Happy Dating.
Culled from True Love Dates
Path-Lights with Henry 